the cookie cutter answer

Do you ever open a fortune cookie, eager that it may give you the answer? What answer you may ask. Well, the one that faces the question gnawing at us full frontal. It's the answer, we believe, will lay bear all of our grievances and act as that band-aid we've always wanted. You know, the answer to those questions like...."Why do children die of starvation?", "How can one man kill another?" and the more personal ones such as.."Why am I so frustrated by my parents?", "Why is this relationship so difficult?" and "How is it possible to earn a living doing what you love?"

Well, I think it's time we woke up and smelled reality. There is no cookie cutter answer to all of life's problems. They must be faced with determination and a dedication to hard work as well as the understanding that there is always grace. For you. For me. For us.

With this grace, we may be able to look one another in the face and admit that we don't have the answers. And perhaps agree that this not knowing may be what life's all about.

words.

It seems ironic that I love to write and the best writing program I have is textedit. Almost as if the universe was challenging me to transcribe a story from thought to life in the most difficult way possible. The truth is that my mind is plagued with thoughts and I've begun to wonder if perhaps I should write them down. I can't explain this. It is the most sincere release to be able to concentrate one's brain and express it in the simplicity of words. "Words? Simple?" You may ask. Yes, Indeed. For how can one word fully contain our infinite beings? Can the soul be harnessed by the likes of the english language? I hope it is not possible. I pray that each language, despite it's seeming complexity, still falls short in it's expression. One must believe that anything can be imagined on the basis of these words, but nothing can be fully realized in the same way that it is lived.

And yet, despite their inadequacy, we press on, using these words. Letting them fill up our lives and speak our hearts to those we love. These simple expressions are our gift to the world. As I'm writing this, I wonder which things that people have said stick out in my mind. It isn't the criticism or congratulations. Not the phrases filled with the wanderings of each day. Instead, quiet reflections, grasping at the truth, come singing to my heart. And it finds its peace.

two songs.

Here are the lyrics to two of the songs I've written in the last couple months:

It is a quiet fire
It is a sodden flame
a squelched desire
a word a thought a name

It is irrational
without the work of brain
it is emotional
it cannot hope again

(chorus)
This foolish love
who would call it that?
this eager crush
exempt from fear or shame

It is a solemn breeze
an imagined kiss
it is the gentle tease
of an abandoned wish

It is the afternoon
of the last baseball match
It is the purple bloom
of this tray of ash

this foolish love (x4)



Tagore (excerpt from a poem by Rabindrath Tagore)

Though the evening comes with slow steps
and has signaled for all to cease

Though your companions have gone to their rest
and you are tired

Though fear broods in the dark
and the face of the sky is veiled (X2)

Yet bird, o my bird, listen to me
don't close your wings

It is spoken.

The rain hasn't started
but I can hear it.
It is screaming from the thick morbid
veil across the sky

It is moaning through the fabric
tousled by the wind

It is spoken by the quiet
voices inside coffee shops

It is heard as the roots cry out
to the clouds for life

and the leaves breath in
the ladden air

the rain hasn't started
but I can hear it.


twilight (in progress)

Silhouettes
Outlines
Figures in black
Claim the skyline

They're standing still
immobile
and yet fluidly alive
transforming the present
by releasing the past

The conifers become giants
each mountain, a dragon
their darkness breathing life
to the solemn blue blanket of night

And their fire is seen in the heavens
with each new flicker of light
found in the dimming dry ocean
calling all to the evening's warmth

the heart which sailed the ocean blue

I knew a girl who had a heart
that longed to sail the ocean blue
she had not the heart of a mistress or maid
but that of a sailor, learned in his trade

It's beat could sound the depths of the deep
It's pulse could quicken the creatures beneath
this heart ruled it's owner, you see

From the bow of the boat, it made her leap
into the silent oceans deep
From the top of the sail it made her fly
from the tip of the waves to the edge of the sky

She soared o'r the the wind
and met birds in her flight
pelicans, seagulls and winged messengers of the night

She flew o'r the waters and
met sea creatures too!
The turtle, dolphin, and wales
made a hula baloo!

But when she had nearly finished her very first flight
Her heart wanted more, which she couldn't set right
For the wind was to fierce
and the waves were to strong
and she didn't believe the sirens song

So she left her heart there
in the depths of the sea
to be rediscovered by you and me
She returned to the boat and set things aright
and made the long voyage home with all of her might