For those of you who are interested, it looks like I'm going to start recording some of the songs that I've written. There is one I wrote this past weekend that I want to post the lyrics below. It's chorus is from Ezekial 11. If you want a copy of the CD, shoot me an email at lringer@calpoly.edu. Thanks!
I don't want to feel anything
I don't want to believe
I don't want this heartache
I don't want to receive
Chorus
I will give them an undivided heart (x3)
and put a new spirit within them
I will remove from them their heart of stone (x3)
and give them a heart of flesh
How many days and how many miles
of exile
till the Lord turns his face from the coldness we feel
(repeat chorus)
Where are we headed and
where have we been
lost in pursuit of the Lord once again
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Breather (by Billy Collins)
Just as in the horror movies
when someone discovers tht the phone calls
are coming from inside the house
so too, I realized
that our tender overlapping
has been taking place only inside me.
All that sweetness, the love and desire-
it's just been me dialing myself
then following the ringer to another room
to find no one on the line
well, sometimes a little breathing
but more often than not, nothing.
To think that ll this time_
which would include the boat rides,
the airport embraces, and all the drinks-
it's been only me and the two telephones,
the one on the wall in the kitchen
and the extension in the darkened guest room upstairs.
when someone discovers tht the phone calls
are coming from inside the house
so too, I realized
that our tender overlapping
has been taking place only inside me.
All that sweetness, the love and desire-
it's just been me dialing myself
then following the ringer to another room
to find no one on the line
well, sometimes a little breathing
but more often than not, nothing.
To think that ll this time_
which would include the boat rides,
the airport embraces, and all the drinks-
it's been only me and the two telephones,
the one on the wall in the kitchen
and the extension in the darkened guest room upstairs.
Monday, December 8, 2008
on being pursued
Pursuit. How can one word mean so much? We look around us in search of a pursuer and somehow become the pursued.
Now, what does it mean to be pursued? It means to wait. To find a patience of spirit and heart that can be at peace. We want to grasp after things, after people, and the result is that what we are holding so tightly begins to slip through our fingers. I want so badly to able to let go. Of this relationship. Of that conversation. Of present circumstance.
To get outside of our daily lives and into the truth of God's love for us we have to leave the room for Him to pursue us.
I was staring up at a sycamore tree this morning and heard Him say to my response, "What should I do?"
"Let yourself be pursued by me."
Our Lord is the one romancer in this life whose love will never change or fade. It is a rock on which we can store our trust, our dreams, and our fears. Imagine having a conversation with God just like you're conversing with a loved one. Do they enjoy your humor, listen to your heartache, and laugh in your joy? Is there hope found in the fact that another can relate to and appreciate you?
The same is true with a God who never forgets, who loves us despite our sin and in sight of our weakness. He will be faithful to laugh, cry, and rejoice with us. Do you ever feel like a song is filling you up, brimming over and spilling out from a place you do not know? Do you see circumstances collide and twist to become a tapestry of His love?
Jesus didn't come in to this world to leave us bound to sin and death. He came to set us free from our fears, to release the hold this world has on us. In the process of letting go of what we cling to, God begins his pursuit of our hearts.
It is a dance. A twirling, glorious journey in His arms. We step together through danger and fear, through darkness and pain, through deep waters and shallow tides, through forrest and ocean, through dessert and mountainside. The journey is one which has no clear beginning or end but weaves through circumstance bring a steadfast peace and joy in the knowledge that we are His.
Oh, to only have a heart fully ready to be pursued by our God!
Now, what does it mean to be pursued? It means to wait. To find a patience of spirit and heart that can be at peace. We want to grasp after things, after people, and the result is that what we are holding so tightly begins to slip through our fingers. I want so badly to able to let go. Of this relationship. Of that conversation. Of present circumstance.
To get outside of our daily lives and into the truth of God's love for us we have to leave the room for Him to pursue us.
I was staring up at a sycamore tree this morning and heard Him say to my response, "What should I do?"
"Let yourself be pursued by me."
Our Lord is the one romancer in this life whose love will never change or fade. It is a rock on which we can store our trust, our dreams, and our fears. Imagine having a conversation with God just like you're conversing with a loved one. Do they enjoy your humor, listen to your heartache, and laugh in your joy? Is there hope found in the fact that another can relate to and appreciate you?
The same is true with a God who never forgets, who loves us despite our sin and in sight of our weakness. He will be faithful to laugh, cry, and rejoice with us. Do you ever feel like a song is filling you up, brimming over and spilling out from a place you do not know? Do you see circumstances collide and twist to become a tapestry of His love?
Jesus didn't come in to this world to leave us bound to sin and death. He came to set us free from our fears, to release the hold this world has on us. In the process of letting go of what we cling to, God begins his pursuit of our hearts.
It is a dance. A twirling, glorious journey in His arms. We step together through danger and fear, through darkness and pain, through deep waters and shallow tides, through forrest and ocean, through dessert and mountainside. The journey is one which has no clear beginning or end but weaves through circumstance bring a steadfast peace and joy in the knowledge that we are His.
Oh, to only have a heart fully ready to be pursued by our God!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
the gift we have such difficulty receiving
I’m sleepless in san luis. My heart and head seem to say: God’s grace is not enough, you must do more to earn this gift. Prove that you deserve it. That you appreciate it. The truth is that I want to be appreciated. I feel so forlorn. To pull myself outside of circumstance and see the truth of His love for me is too difficult. It is too painful. I am completely afraid of being injured again. Of giving God my heart and finding that He doesn’t want it. Jesus, why is this true? Why do I doubt you to the point of doubting each and every aspect of this life? Why is my pursuit of the truth so relentless? When will I be able to let go of the little things and be loved>:?
I want this so much. Not merely for myself, but for each and every person in this life, this world. The fear of the unknown immobilizes me. It seems that satan has convinced me that people can someone solve the problems of this world. Yet this is entirely untrue.
Only God can meet the needs of such a broken people, thirsty for the water they won’t drink. He asks us to pray for faithfulness and not success. Oh Lord, forgive my so easily wayward heart.
It has long been in search of it’s own glory and way and has not sought to be pursued but to pursue. Peace comes in knowing that nothing I ever do will make me deserving of the intensity of your love. It is a gift.
I want this so much. Not merely for myself, but for each and every person in this life, this world. The fear of the unknown immobilizes me. It seems that satan has convinced me that people can someone solve the problems of this world. Yet this is entirely untrue.
Only God can meet the needs of such a broken people, thirsty for the water they won’t drink. He asks us to pray for faithfulness and not success. Oh Lord, forgive my so easily wayward heart.
It has long been in search of it’s own glory and way and has not sought to be pursued but to pursue. Peace comes in knowing that nothing I ever do will make me deserving of the intensity of your love. It is a gift.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
befriending oneself
I've come up with a new saying which may as well be an old one:
To find a friend, one must first befriend oneself.
It's something like that verse in the Bible,
"love thy neighbor as thyself"
Yet where does loving yourself get lost in the scheme of things? In serving and "loving" the people around us, we so often forget to look after our own needs to the point of exhaustion.
By trusting God with the lives of those we love and having faith that he will care for them in ways we are incapable of, we learn to love ourselves more and let go of what is so difficult to- our control, our ability, and our desire to prove our worth.
I wish sometimes that God would speak more clearly to me about His love, but it seems to often come when least expected, like a flash of lighting or gentle breeze. This weekend I drove up San Luis Mountain through Perfumo Canyon and took my lunch on the side of the road. Earlier that day, I had asked God to prove to me that he was capable of miracles and all I had to do was look before my eyes and see the formation of the mountains and valley below and I knew it.
He is capable of more than miracles.
Falling back into His arms I heard Him say "Why do you always question my love?". And I pondered His words will all of my heart.
To find a friend, one must first befriend oneself.
It's something like that verse in the Bible,
"love thy neighbor as thyself"
Yet where does loving yourself get lost in the scheme of things? In serving and "loving" the people around us, we so often forget to look after our own needs to the point of exhaustion.
By trusting God with the lives of those we love and having faith that he will care for them in ways we are incapable of, we learn to love ourselves more and let go of what is so difficult to- our control, our ability, and our desire to prove our worth.
I wish sometimes that God would speak more clearly to me about His love, but it seems to often come when least expected, like a flash of lighting or gentle breeze. This weekend I drove up San Luis Mountain through Perfumo Canyon and took my lunch on the side of the road. Earlier that day, I had asked God to prove to me that he was capable of miracles and all I had to do was look before my eyes and see the formation of the mountains and valley below and I knew it.
He is capable of more than miracles.
Falling back into His arms I heard Him say "Why do you always question my love?". And I pondered His words will all of my heart.
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